Wild Beast_A Mountain Man Romance Read online

  How could Damien be so cruel? How could he say that what happened between us had been nothing but a fling? How did it come to this?

  Deep down, I know it’s because I don’t deserve to be loved. I’m a nobody. I’m a fat girl with mediocre grades and a meek personality. There’s nothing about me that stands out. Damien would be able to replace me in a heartbeat if he wanted.

  He made me feel so special, though. That’s what kills me now. Remembering how Damien treated me with kindness and love hurts most of all. I thought that I was breaking down the barriers between us and really getting to know him, but I was wrong. The whole time, Damien didn’t care about me.

  Heck, he was probably just using me for sex. And when the fog of lust cleared from those gorgeous eyes of his, he saw me for who I really am.

  A complete and utter disappointment. The kind of girl who lets everyone down.

  God, I wish I could just run away and live alone forever. For the first time, I really understand why Damien wanted to be alone and away from society.

  I can’t go back to my normal life. And I’m certainly not going to Trim Acres, either. But I can’t stay out in the middle of the woods. It’s freezing cold out here and I won’t last long. Setting my mouth in a line of grim determination, I decide to go home and grab a few more things, then set off for … wherever.

  The Greyhound station seems like a good idea. I can catch a bus out of here to the first big city that sounds good. Then, maybe, I can establish some kind of new life for myself.

  But I know that no matter what I do, I’m never going to be able to forget about Damien and the utter heartbreak I feel.

  By the time I’m back at my parents’ house, the sky is streaked with the first sign of dawn. My heart is heavy in my chest, and I wish that I could lie down and sleep for a thousand years. I can’t do that, though. Or rather, I won’t. Not anymore.

  I’ve spent my life being passive, and it’s time for a change. It’s time for me to stand up for myself and take what I want. I’m not going to let other people dictate the terms of my life anymore.

  Sneaking up to the front door, I gently push it open and step into the foyer. For a moment, I’m worried that I’ll catch Gina – this is around the time that she arrives at work in the mornings. I know that I couldn’t handle the look of disappointment on her face. If there was anyone in the world besides my mother and Lacey who wanted me to be happy, surely it would be Gina.

  But thankfully, the house is dark and silent. I take a deep breath as I start up the stairs. Inside, my chest feels cold and hollow. I feel as if Damien reached into my chest and ripped out my heart. Just thinking about his name stings.

  Before I can stop myself, I’m crying again. Damnit, Emma, pull yourself together, I tell myself as I push open the door to my room. Lock it up!

  “Emma?”

  My mother’s soft voice startles me, but I don’t jump. I simply no longer have the energy to be frightened. I turn around to see Ramona standing behind me with a concerned look on your face.

  “After you said that you weren’t feeling well, I went to check on you,” Mom says softly. “And you weren’t in your bed. Then I went downstairs and saw that your father’s lunch for tomorrow was missing.”

  All I can do in response is sniffle pathetically. Emotions are swirling through my chest and I want to confess everything, but I still feel like I can’t give Damien’s secret away.

  After all, it’s not my story to tell.

  But when my mother steps forward and pulls me into her arms for a comforting hug, I lose all remaining control. The tears begin to fall faster and faster until I’m sobbing into Mom’s shirt, soaking the expensive merino wool with my tears and gooey snot. Mom doesn’t complain, though. She holds me tightly and strokes my hair.

  “It’s okay, sweetie,” Mom says. “Shhhh, stop crying.” She takes me by the hand and leads me into my room where she gently pushes me toward the bed.

  “Can you stay here for a few minutes?” Mom asks. “I’ll be right back.”

  I look up at her in alarm. “God, Mom, please don’t tell Dad!”

  Ramona shakes her head. “No, honey, that’s not what I’m going to do. Don’t worry. Just try to relax and I’ll be back soon.”

  She leaves and closes the door behind her with a soft, muted click. I flop down on my bed and wipe my nose on my arm. I can’t believe that just a few hours ago, I was right here, plotting to leave home and live with Damien forever.

  And now look what’s happened. I’m back at square one, except it’s even worse because I still can’t believe he kicked me out. When did this all go so wrong? When did he decide that I was no longer worth loving?

  Or maybe he never loved me at all?

  When my mother returns, she’s carrying a tray with two steaming mugs of tea and a plate of cinnamon buns. The sugary confections smell incredible and despite my sorrow, my stomach rumbles at the thought of comfort food.

  “I thought you could use a snack,” Mom says quietly. She sets the tray down on my desk and passes me a mug of tea before settling down in the chair. “Tell me what happened, honey.”

  I bite my lip and swallow hard. The tea feels good in my hands – the ceramic is soothing and warm, and I can feel that I’m finally starting to relax. But I still don’t think that talking to my mother about Damien is a good idea.

  Especially considering what I know now.

  “Thanks for the tea,” I say in a soft voice.

  Mom nods. “Gina made the cinnamon roll dough last night. She was going to bake them this morning but when I saw that your bed was empty, I couldn’t sleep.” She pauses and I can tell there’s something else on her mind.

  “You made these?”

  Mom nodded.

  I reach for the tray and take one. It’s warm and topped with gooey icing that smells incredible. After taking a huge bite and chewing, I smile at my mother. In all my years at home, I can’t remember the last time she baked.

  “It’s really good,” I say.

  “Gina did all the work, I just put them in the oven,” Mom replies modestly. She shifts uncomfortably in the chair. “Honey, I know about Trim Acres. Your father told me. You don’t have to go. I think you’re beautiful the way you are.”

  “Is that why you brought me the cinnamon rolls?”

  Mom flushes guiltily. “I just … well, I know I haven’t always been the most accepting of your size. But I just want you to be happy, and I don’t want to send you off to that horrible place if you don’t want to go. It isn’t fair to you.”

  I bite my lip and nod, feeling relieved. At least there’s one less thing to worry about now.

  “But I know something else is going on,” Mom says. This time, she sounds a little more confident of herself. “And I want you to tell me what it is. I’m worried about you, Em.”

  I swallow nervously. “I … met someone, Mom.”

  “A boy?” Mom asks, her face lighting up. “Like, someone from school? Emma, that’s wonderful news.”

  For a moment, I think about lying. But I can’t lie to my mother – for one thing, she’d never believe me. And for another, I owe her the truth.

  “No,” I say after a long pause. “I met someone. He lives out in the woods by himself, he’s a hermit. He used to…” I trail off nervously. “Well, it doesn’t matter. But I fell in love with him.”

  Mom nods. But her face is pale and I can tell that she’s still concerned.

  “And things were going so well, Mom, he’s so great – you have no idea. He’s smart and poised and he respects me. He doesn’t treat me like I’m a loser.”

  My mother smiles. “That’s wonderful, honey, but—“

  “He’s Dad’s mortal enemy,” I continue. “His name is Damien Evercore.”

  “Emma!” Mom gasps. Her jaw drops and her already-pale face turns white as a sheet. “You can’t be serious!”

  A fresh wave of tears comes to my eyes and I try blinking them away but it’s useless. Soon my fa
ce is covered with hot salt water and all I can do is sob.

  “And he kicked me out when the truth came out,” I cry. “And Mom, I love him so much! It hurts so bad! I don’t know what I’m supposed to do.”

  My mom is silent for a long moment.

  “Please,” I beg. “Please help me figure out what to do. I can’t stay here – not with Dad! And Damien doesn’t want me.”

  “Emma…” My mother trails off. “I can’t tell you what to do. You’re a big girl. You’re twenty-one, and it’s time for you to start making your own choices.”

  I purse my lips and look at her in confusion.

  Mom takes a deep breath. “But Jason – I mean, your father – well, he’s never wanted what’s best for you. He’s a self-centered bastard and I have a feeling that he always will be. I want you to think about what you want to do. Your father and I will be fine.”

  All I can do is stare at her. “Are you serious?” I gnaw on my lower lip until the bitter metallic taste of blood splashes across my tongue. “Are you really saying that I should betray Dad?”

  My mother shakes her head. “No,” she replies. “But I want you to be happy, Emma. After being married to your father for over twenty years, I know that he doesn’t care about hurting those closest to him. He’s never thought twice about my feelings. Or yours, for that matter.”

  My head is filled with a raging sea of emotions as my mother speaks. For the first time, I wonder just how much abuse Ramona’s gone through at the hands of my father. I always thought she was weak for not standing up to him, but maybe it was simply that she had lost her will to fight.

  “I’ll let you think about what you want to do, sweetie,” Mom says softly. She stands up and walks over to the bed before leaning down and kissing my forehead like she used to do when I was a kid. “Just know that I love you.”

  Between Damien’s harsh words and my mother’s kindness, my heart is starting to feel like I put it through a juicer.

  “I love you, too,” I say quietly. Impulsively, I get to my feet and throw my arms around my mother. She hugs me tightly and then pulls away.

  “Your father isn’t home,” Mom says from the doorway of my room. “But I would think about what you want, and soon.”

  I nod. “Okay. And thank you.”

  Mom nods one more time and closes the door behind her. As soon as she’s gone, I flop down on my bed. My head is spinning and I feel faint. When my head hits the pillow, I close my eyes and immediately Damien’s face floats to the front of my mind.

  I think back to the vow I made when I got home. About how I’m not going to let anyone tell me what to do anymore. My mom even said that I have to make my own choices.

  I could go with Damien. Damien, the man who loves me and cares for me just as I am. The man who has never asked anything of me.

  Or I could keep trying to make my father happy. I could go to Trim Acres and give up pizza and sugar and everything else good in the world. But based on everything my mom just told me, I still don’t think that would make him love me.

  I can’t stay here. I have to follow the man I love, Damien, and forget all about my father because Damien is my future.

  And as for Jason?

  He never loved me. He never cared. In fact, he was willing to banish me to a fat farm, so that I wouldn’t embarrass him.

  So Jason is nothing. Less than nothing. And if I want one last shot at happiness, I have to return to Damien and make him understand that we belong together.

  Chapter Sixteen

  Damien

  Even when I lived among other men, I was never much of a drinker. The occasional liquid lunch or dinner was required to impress Xander Corp clients, but I never wanted to dive face-first into a bottle like Jason did.

  But I’m starting to feel differently. I’m so filled with loathing and self-hatred that I can’t stand to be alone with myself. I need to do something to drown out the thoughts of sweet, perfect Emma. She’s haunting me.

  Crossing the floor of my cabin, I reach into the cupboard and pull out a bottle of whiskey. It’s covered with dust and I brush off the glass before untwisting the cap and taking a long swig. The amber liquid burns all the way down to my stomach, but it feels good.

  I need to punish myself.

  “Emma,” I growl under my breath. Wiping the whiskey droplets from my beard, I take another huge swig. This time I start to cough and sputter as the alcohol flows down my throat.

  A sound makes me stop dead in my tracks. It’s a soft rapping, almost like a twig brushing against the side of the cabin.

  No.

  It can’t be her.

  I must have imagined it. There’s no way Emma is here, standing outside my front door, waiting for me.

  Closing my eyes, I shake my head and force down another huge gulp of whiskey.

  The knocking sounds again. It’s gentle, yet persistent.

  I take a deep, shuddering breath and walk to the door. My heart is thudding as I yank it open to reveal Emma standing on the other side. The early morning sunlight plays off the chestnut hues in her soft curls and she looks exhausted. My heart immediately beats once, hard and painful.

  “Damien, we have to talk,” Emma says. “You have to let me inside.”

  “No,” I say. I start to close the door but Emma pushes me back and steps inside. The alcohol must have affected my reflexes and I nearly stumble as I whirl back around just in time to see her close the door behind her.

  “Emma, you should leave,” I say warily. “It’s not good for you to be here.”

  “No,” Emma says. For once, she sounds totally confident and self-assured. “I’m not leaving until you hear everything that I have to say.”

  I stare at her.

  “I love you,” Emma says. “I love you so freaking much, Damien. I can’t be without you.” She licks her lips and stares deep into my eyes. My heart starts to pound in my chest with elation, but I know that I can’t listen to her.

  “You’re a child,” I say bitterly. “You don’t know what you want. You should be with someone your own age. Someone who will love you and grow old with you.”

  Emma rolls her eyes. Her brown eyes flash with anger. “I’m not a child!” She cries loudly. “I’m twenty-one years old, for God’s sake! And I know what I want. I want you. You’re who I’ve always wanted, I just didn’t know it until we met.”

  I open my mouth to protest, but Emma keeps going.

  “Damien, we’re perfect together. Neither of us ever fit into the real world, and we’re outcasts. I always felt so lonely! But when I met you, I didn’t feel lonely anymore. You complete me, Damien. You’ve made me into a whole person.”

  Emma comes closer and wraps her arms around my waist. My first instinct is to push her away but her warm, supple curves feel so good against my hard body that I can’t help but pull her closer and put my hands on her thick waist.

  She tilts her head back and looks deeply into my eyes. Her own brown eyes are two velvet pools of softness that I want to dive inside and never emerge.

  “Damien, before I met you, my life was a mess,” Emma says softly. “I hated myself. I was a loser, and I didn’t think that I deserved to be happy. I tried so hard to please other people that I never thought about myself. And you changed all of that. Now I believe in myself. You helped me realize that I’m a valuable person.”